The Bluestone Review 2025

The Bluestone Review

“Kids, your Mommy is going into training this week to wrassle a bear,” Daddy announced as he passed us a newspaper with an ad featuring a picture of Jimbo. “She is going to squeeze the bear grease out of old Jimbo.” Mommy didn’t want to wrestle a bear, but she also didn’t want to disappoint Daddy and the temptation of $100 in groceries sealed the deal. “One, Two, Three,” my sister Lisa and I would count as Mommy threw out her arms and legs attempting to do jumping jacks. She trained hard by practicing headlocks on my brothers and a flying elbow she had seen “Macho Man” Randy Savage perform at an outlaw wrestling show in Grundy. As the big day grew closer, Mommy’s courage started to fade. Even with all her hard work, she didn’t want to do this alone. She called upon her best friend, Crazy Sadie. Sadie was the wife of my Daddy’s friend and drinking buddy, Oscar. She and Mommy had become friends by default. “I’m really not sure I can do this,” Mommy confessed to Sadie. “I need your help.” Thus, the tag team was formed. On Saturday morning, just after the Smurfs went off, we loaded into the van for the 10-minute drive to Tiller’s Supermarket. Mommy and Sadie were the only two to sign up to wrestle Jimbo. “In this corner, from Kennel Branch, Beautiful Barbara and Crazy Sadie, the Killer Cooks,” the announcer read from a note that we later learned Daddy had given him. The match started with Mommy running toward Jimbo and trying to catch him by surprise. Turns out the surprise was on Mommy. Jimbo flipped her over and pressed his nose into her bottom for a not-so-friendly hello. The audience roared with laughter as Mommy crawled to tag in Sadie. Sadie wasted no time going on

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