Inkwell 2018-2019

mausoleum holding Faos Tisi as he passed, the light of his dim lantern producing strange shadows on its white walls. He had a special spot in his heart for the little witch. All the stories said that before she helped found the University, she’d fended off Iden with nothing more than a knife and sheer pluck. Ulster wished he could have seen it: that tall, terrible Aetherling getting thoroughly clobbered by a girl half his size. Just the thought made him chuckle softly to himself. A loud clunk jolted him out of his reverie. He squinted into the heavy rain, holding up a hand to keep the wind from blowing any more water into his eyes. “Who’s there?” he asked gruffly. Surely none of the medical students would be out on a night like this. He received no spoken response, but the sounds of frantic shuffling and the creak of wheels over the heavy pattering of rain told him all he needed to know. “They just keep getting worse and worse,” he grumbled angrily to himself. A flash of lightning in the distance lit up the cemetery just enough for him to see the familiar silhouette of a person struggling to push a wheelbarrow through a patch of unmarked graves. Huh. Usually there’s at least two of them. “Stop right there!” The sound of his voice apparently panicked the intruder, who let out a nervous whimper and attempted to double his pace. One of the wheels on his barrow caught on a fragment of stone, causing the cart to pitch over and dump its canvas- covered load onto the ground. As Ulster crept steadily closer, letting his umbrella drop to the ground beside him, the thief ’s head whipped back and forth; he seemed torn between running and attempting to recapture his prize. Whatever his decision might have been, he took too long to make up his mind. With a sudden burst of speed, Ulster lurched towards him, snatching his arm and waving the lantern in front of his face angrily. “What do you think you’re doing, young man?” Thunder rumbled above them as if to underscore his displeasure. His captive shrieked, desperately trying to wrench his wrist out of the watchman’s grip. Though the light of his lantern could only

penetrate so far beneath the intruder’s hood, a few glimpses of smooth, unwrinkled skin confirmed Ulster’s suspicions - another damned medical student. At least this one had the nerve to do it himself. Sometimes they hired people off the streets, which made Ulster’s job significantly more difficult. He could take on a squirmy little University brat; a professional body-snatcher could prove legitimately dangerous. The youth finally managed to latch onto a coherent response. “I promise it’s not what it looks like! I can explain!” Ulster was surprised at the pitch and timbre of this assertion; it seemed he had caught his first female body-snatcher in over a month. Her neck twisted back towards the canvas sack on the ground as if she were afraid it might wander away without vigilant supervision. Ulster followed the thief ’s gaze. “You thought you could get away with it ‘cause you were stealing from the poor half of the graveyard, didn’t you? All you damned—wait a minute. Are those potatoes?” He squinted, trying to get a closer look. Sure enough, dozens of misshapen, brown lumps lay scattered around the sack and overturned wheelbarrow. Letting go of the intruder’s wrist, Ulster stooped over and picked one up. Further inspection revealed that it was in fact a potato, albeit a wet potato covered in a thin, slimy layer of grime. “What were you planning to do with this, eh?!” The thief had been backing away slowly for several seconds, but the question made her stop in her tracks. “Well, obviously they were so I could… um...” Ulster was not particularly impressed. “Let me guess. That sack is full of potatoes. You’re taking a shortcut through the graveyard to sell them at market tomorrow morning.” “Yes! Exactly! If you would just let me… pick all of them up, I promise to be out of your way in a matter of minutes.” Clearly, Ulster’s sarcasm had been lost on her. “So if I just reach down and open this here bag, I’ll find nothing inside it but tubers.” 34